Radio 1 advice: Holy Communion can feed the whole family

It is usual when tuning into Matt Edmondson's show on Radio 1 to expect a bit of banter and silliness, but the episode that aired earlier this week (Nov 23) was a step too far.

In the end item of the show his guest presenter Pete came up with some suggestions to cut costs while feeding yourself and the family. 

Starting with a weird, but inoffensive description of chewing on Groupon vouchers rather than using them, or eating Jamie's cook books to save a few pence the show was its usual weird and wonderful self. However, the tide changed when the puzzlement of what to feed the family on a Sunday arose. 

Mass. That was the suggestion, to take all the family along to a service where there is "as much wine, bread and wafer to feed an army. A good army - not the Taliban" I kid not.

So what was Pete's advice?

"We don't think like Willy Wonka's special popping chocolate the bread and wine change miraculously in our mouths"

"Join the queue for the free bread and free wine. Go up there's no one checking the queues. Get your bread get your win. Go to the straight of the back of the queue and do it all again."

Matt's response: "So it's like an evangelical all you can eat."

Answer: "Yes but obviously you don't have to pay five quid to that Taiwanese man who I suspect is using his business on the Finchley Road as an illegal DVD farm." 

So does this work Pete?

How could Matt even question him: "You get enough free food to feed the entire family. And obviously at a Catholic Church you get more bang for your buck. 

"Even though you're not paying for it, because the bread and the wine transubstantiate into the actual blood and body of Christ as you eat them." 

Just a little aside here, we don't think as Catholics that like Willy Wonka's special popping chocolate the bread and wine change miraculously in our mouths. The actual change occurs at the altar. 

"So on a good day you can end up eating as much as an entire five Christ."

Matt: "Sounds delicious (Kerching sound) some great tips there Pete."

And there it ended. 

"Mass isn't a homeless shelter for the cast of Twilight." 

As a catholic I'm used to also hearing a myriad of explanations of Holy Communion, it's a hard topic to grasp for newbies or non-Catholics. Do we really eat the body and blood of Christ? Do we believe it is really the flesh of God? 

Of course with a little bit of digging and investigation those curious enough to look would find out that in fact we don't join together at weekends for a cannibalistic slash vampire show down, but we gather for a respectful and moving reason - to share in the body and blood of Christ and to remember he died for our sins. 

Well, this still may sound like Hannibal's birthday party to you, but again breaking it down it means plainly that we don't think we're munching on a bit of leg or a hand we believe the bread and wine have changed in substance rather than the physical things we see. 

Mass isn't a homeless shelter for the cast of Twilight. 

Let me explain. You read books? The book is the substance, the meaning of what we read. In fact we're looking at sheets of paper with words printed on - the physical thing. See? No? What about a football? It's substance is a football - something that a game is formed around, its actual just a lump or plastic or leather. 

We put meanings on things all the time. In Mass we believe that the substance of the bread and wine changes, it means something else. That's the best I can explain it. So shoot me.

I'm not stupid enough to think the presenters misunderstand my faith, but it is shocking they can make others believe factual incorrect facts. Personally, I'm used to jokes regarding the Mass and Holy Communion - I don't mind as long as they're in some way respectful and not incorrect. What I heard here was a lazy attempt at understanding the tradition as well as spouting and spreading wrong information. 

I have hard enough time as it is explaining transubstantiation without Radio 1 entering into the fray to hinder my efforts.

Rant over. 

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Posted in: blog,catholic,complaint,holy communion,Mass,radio 1,transubstantiation

A tale of two translations

We're now two weeks in, and everything seems to be running smoothly. No massive hiccups, no hissy fits and no mistakes - what am I talking about? The new mass translation of course. 

new Mass translation/Mazur

At the beginning of September all Masses begun using the new translation in some parts of the Mass, and from Advent the whole Mass will be said using the new translation.


In my parish there seems to be a genuine excitement about saying the Mass and the new responses. It's also provided an ideal opportunity for the priest to explain why we say what we do, and what it all means. There is usually a general assumption that we all understand what we're saying - and maybe we do! - but it's also nice to have someone refresh your memory. 


Our parish priest explained before Mass started what changes we could expect, what would be different and reminded us to keep our eyes on the cards for now as we're bound to get muddled. He was right. Despite his explanation, just a few lines into Mass and he was met with a chorus of 'and also with you' and mixed murmurings of 'and with your spirit'. 


I have to own up and say I wasn't one of those who got it right. 


But calling on some of the Dunkirk spirit we picked ourselves up, shame faced and a little embarrassed, and with a giggle or too we tried again. The rest of Mass we responded correctly. 


Of course, for now, we're all clutching our Mass cards as if they hold the secret to life! It's inevitable that with any big shift from the familiar that we'll all be nervous and unsure, but if tonight's Mass is anything to go by we needn't worry. Apart from some of us making the same automatic responses - again - we did quite well. 


We have until Advent to learn our new responses and ease into the changes so before then it's homework time. Rote learning the prayers.


Alongside the move to a more accurate Mass we're also being treated to homilies explaining what the Mass is all about. Priests are taking the time worn tradition and revealing a trove of theological treasures to parishioners that just wasn't possible before.  


Take 'and with your spirit', for years we've droned 'and also with you' - the equivalent of tipping your cap to our Father as if we were saying 'you too, mate'. We might as well have been greeting a friend in a pub. For some reason I have the image of those Victorian caps being nodded to God...


So how come 'and with your spirit' is better? it doesn't exactly trip off the tongue, but it was the ancient greeting used by Christians: et cum spiritu tuo. It makes an appearances a few times in the Bible: Pauline Epistles: “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit brethren. Amen” (Gal 6:18; cf Phil 4:23; Philemon 25); “The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you” (2 Tim 4:22).


The Catholic Herald have a great explanation of why 'and with your spirit' is such an important change, it's well worth a read. 


But this isn't the only amendment to the Mass that we'll notice over the next few weeks. Most are fairly obvious: 'Lord I'm not worthy for you to enter under my roof' - the words of the Centurion from the Bible is one of them. 


The switching of 'one body' to consubstantial is one that had left many people scratching their heads. It's an old Latin word used to describe the relationship between the Divine persons of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit - the idea that all three are 'one being'. While we may have said  'and of one body' in the Creed for the last 40 years the use of 'consubstantial' had me puzzled. Isn't it essentially the same thing? It was only after a wonderful sermon by our parish priest and a bit of reading that I came around from the view it was archaic (and a bit of a tongue twister). it goes without saying that everything has been changed for a reason.


Essentially the new Mass translation aims to take us back to the scripture, to reconnect what we say in the Mass with the words of God and the original Christians. There is something truly humbling and overwhelming in thinking that amending a few words in a text that has become so familiar to us could possibly help us gain so much more from the Mass. That in using the same words the early Christians most likely used we are echoing age old tradition and remembering those who have come before us. 


As usual I'm getting carried away in a romantic ideal of what the Mass could achieve. But for once I have the hopeful feeling that this time it's less of a idealistic notion, but something that will actually become a reality. 


As your parish priest takes to the pulpit this weekend listen carefully, take the booklets, guides and explanations of why the changes have been made. Soak it all up, because if we embrace the unfamiliar we can rejuvenate the Mass and take it back to its roots. 


Now wouldn't that be something worth aspiring to?

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Posted in: advent,arundel and brighton,bible,burgess hill,catholic,catholic church,catholic herald,Mass,new mass translation,parish,spirit