3:37 AM
Jo-Anne Rowney
It is usual when tuning into Matt Edmondson's show on Radio 1 to expect a bit of banter and silliness, but the episode that aired earlier this week (Nov 23) was a step too far.
In the end item of the show his guest presenter Pete came up with some suggestions to cut costs while feeding yourself and the family.
Starting with a weird, but inoffensive description of chewing on Groupon vouchers rather than using them, or eating Jamie's cook books to save a few pence the show was its usual weird and wonderful self. However, the tide changed when the puzzlement of what to feed the family on a Sunday arose.
Mass. That was the suggestion, to take all the family along to a service where there is "as much wine, bread and wafer to feed an army. A good army - not the Taliban" I kid not.
So what was Pete's advice?
"We don't think like Willy Wonka's special popping chocolate the bread and wine change miraculously in our mouths"
"Join the queue for the free bread and free wine. Go up there's no one checking the queues. Get your bread get your win. Go to the straight of the back of the queue and do it all again."
Matt's response: "So it's like an evangelical all you can eat."
Answer: "Yes but obviously you don't have to pay five quid to that Taiwanese man who I suspect is using his business on the Finchley Road as an illegal DVD farm."
So does this work Pete?
How could Matt even question him: "You get enough free food to feed the entire family. And obviously at a Catholic Church you get more bang for your buck.
"Even though you're not paying for it, because the bread and the wine transubstantiate into the actual blood and body of Christ as you eat them."
Just a little aside here, we don't think as Catholics that like Willy Wonka's special popping chocolate the bread and wine change miraculously in our mouths. The actual change occurs at the altar.
"So on a good day you can end up eating as much as an entire five Christ."
Matt: "Sounds delicious (Kerching sound) some great tips there Pete."
And there it ended.
"Mass isn't a homeless shelter for the cast of Twilight."
As a catholic I'm used to also hearing a myriad of explanations of Holy Communion, it's a hard topic to grasp for newbies or non-Catholics. Do we really eat the body and blood of Christ? Do we believe it is really the flesh of God?
Of course with a little bit of digging and investigation those curious enough to look would find out that in fact we don't join together at weekends for a cannibalistic slash vampire show down, but we gather for a respectful and moving reason - to share in the body and blood of Christ and to remember he died for our sins.
Well, this still may sound like Hannibal's birthday party to you, but again breaking it down it means plainly that we don't think we're munching on a bit of leg or a hand we believe the bread and wine have changed in substance rather than the physical things we see.
Mass isn't a homeless shelter for the cast of Twilight.
Let me explain. You read books? The book is the substance, the meaning of what we read. In fact we're looking at sheets of paper with words printed on - the physical thing. See? No? What about a football? It's substance is a football - something that a game is formed around, its actual just a lump or plastic or leather.
We put meanings on things all the time. In Mass we believe that the substance of the bread and wine changes, it means something else. That's the best I can explain it. So shoot me.
I'm not stupid enough to think the presenters misunderstand my faith, but it is shocking they can make others believe factual incorrect facts. Personally, I'm used to jokes regarding the Mass and Holy Communion - I don't mind as long as they're in some way respectful and not incorrect. What I heard here was a lazy attempt at understanding the tradition as well as spouting and spreading wrong information.
I have hard enough time as it is explaining transubstantiation without Radio 1 entering into the fray to hinder my efforts.
Rant over.
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